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indescribable

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feel so sick and disgusted with myself. it's like a cycle that I cannot get out from and what's worst when it happens again and all over again! Yet you're still stuck in this cycle knowing that you should get out of it and fucking move on... but never able to do it. It  is like I'm willingly allowing myself to get stab by a knife when I know I got the fucking damn choice to not let that happen to me. I am fucking sick, right?

Not a type of person to express it out for I feel I would sound like a fool... pretending everything okay accepting everything willingly when it is actually damn heart-breaking.

.. moving on is not as easy as last time where I could forget them boys the next day after breaking up. I want the old me back.. being a total insensitive bitch.

Feeling should have an on and off button. When you need feelings, you have to switch it on and when you don't, do the otherwise. But for now, I would rather be a robot... without any emotions.

Bottom line, who's at fault? Not YOU,  not THEM, but me.

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bored

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Feels that my life getting mundane as days pass by! Seriously NEED to get out of this comfort zone.

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tired

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It has been a month since we last talked. It has been tough but I'm trying to move on, baby steps.. Sigh. I think I just suck too much because I just can't reach anyone's expectation/standards. That's just depressing .. knowing you tried so hard but still fail. 

nights.

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sad

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There can never be anyone who could handle my nonsense and jokes so well like you. Why does all this has to happen? It was a smooth start for us.. everything was so natural and beautiful. If only, it remains that way...

I really hope you're doing well, A. I really miss you so very much. :(

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blank

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Boo! Hehe... It has beeen looooong... I have totally abandoned this kid here. But I just couldn't delete this and I don't know why!

Just updating this for fun and if there is anyone out there still loyally reading this.. HELLO TO YOU! and I LOVE YOU! hahaha.

So how am I? I am fine. Still alive and kickin'! I'm out of school! School is totally over for me! Yippeeeeeeeeeeee! Actually, I'm not that ALL excited though.. somehow I miss school. It brings me back to how I felt when I completed my Secondary School education. So depressing to leave school and my friends... :( Anyways, so what's next for me? ... well, I hope I could start work in mid March at KTPH. I'm quite reluctant but I guess I should just grab this opportunity ! At the moment, I'm doing nothing.. and just enjoying myself before I get tied up with work  (...attachment for four months there and it was really crazzzzzzzzzy!!...)

Can't wait for March .. a short get away with my family... No where far.. Still in Singapore! haha

Ok dah.. Bye!